It has been two months since I wrote any new articles. Like a drop of water entering the tide again, in a sense, because the priority of what I have to do is higher, what I want to do has been put on hold, and I have actually made little progress, at least I have not seen any tangible improvement.
Looking back on these two months, it seems that I haven't left a particularly deep impression on anything, but the subjective relationship between "me" and the surrounding seems to have undergone a subtle change, and my state of mind has become much more chaotic. The close ones, the ones further away, it seems that those in between are not distances, but rather "obstacles". Things that I used to be able to do now seem difficult to continue, and I want more time but a lot of leisure time has been wasted unconsciously.
Speaking of time, starting yesterday, I visited one by one the personal websites that I have bookmarked, and in the "Afternoon Tea Light Music Club" there is a passage that goes like this:
Chunking, is to allocate time into a regular whole, to use time with plans and purposes, for example, reading for one hour, watching anime for the next hour, writing for the following hour, focusing on one thing in each time period.
Instead of being like irregular molecules, doing things casually, flipping through a couple of pages of a book and then starting to browse Zhihu, chasing anime, listening to music, playing "Honkai Impact" on the phone, and when recalling the day's achievements before going to bed at night, nothing comes to mind, nothing is remembered, and even the passing of time is not known.
- The Shape of Time - Afternoon Tea Light Music Club
In the past, it seems that I have been living my days like irregular molecules. Even though I know what I need to do overall, the time given to life still ends up being like irregular molecules, with clashes of thoughts and concepts in the flow of information. Some things are left behind but have not yet settled, and most of them just float away without leaving anything behind. Upon careful consideration, it seems that there are not many things that I have persisted in. Perhaps it would be better if it becomes a habit. Now, even a schedule has appeared in my mind.
On the other hand, as a "content provider," it seems that "vertical" is the consensus in the industry, but as a "person," I would prefer to diverge a bit and have a "horizontal" approach in various areas that I am interested in. However, I am also quite empty-handed. Unlike other professionals who provide their own services, I seem to have not "used" my own accumulation. Although I am working on developing an app suitable for a small circle, until now, there is no sign of demand analysis and design. I guess I will consider those things after finishing the tasks at hand.
What does the future me want to achieve and what do I want to do tomorrow?